A Woman Named Jesus

***Note: when you read this poem, pronounce "Jesus" as "gee-sus" when referring to the christian Jesus and as "heh-soos" when referring to the name of the woman

A Woman Named Jesus

I don't believe in a christian Jesus
But I believed in Jesus
The different sects paint their Jesus in different skin
But I saw the skin of Jesus
I saw her eyes wet from laughter
and from pain
I heard her voice say "No not Jesusa, just Jesus"
over and over again
Jesus was strong
and patient and kind
Jesus was this way
without even trying
And when her heart and her smarts
fueled her toward her dreams
the ones left behind
selfishly clinged
With eyes downcast she told me of her sacrifice
Her life Her future
to spare them from their vice
Jesus my friend
I remember despite the years
and hope that somehow you are smiling
while I wipe away my tears

Visitation

The voice calls to my heart
I hear her in my dreams
The dreams that for some are merely fantasy
or imagination so it seems
incredible to their ears

I do not share the secrets
she tells my listening heart
her words dripping blood and pain
I fear will tear me to jagged parts

Out of fear I closed the door
out of anger she crossed the river
I heard her and I spoke
my voice only a quiver

And then I saw her through the window
a black wet shawl wrapped over her shoulders
Her hair dripping flowing over her face
like sleek brown wet covers

Her beauty beyond any sky
any flower any mountain
the pain in her eyes too deep
my face twisted and bled
my whole self began to weep
Only a glimpse and a moment to meet

Then she fled from my sight
my vision of pain and beauty
vanished into the night

Because Sex Isn't Love

"Do you like that?"
He whispers
quiet and slow
"Yes,"
she sighs
and loses control
Their bodies gracefully arch
and twist and curve and bend
"Does that feel good?"
He says breathlessly
"Yes,"
she sighs again
They groan from deep inside
their voices not their own
Their screams echo inside their minds
then silently they moan
She tenses her thighs around him
feeling his moist soft skin
"Do you like me inside of you?"
"Oh Yes,"
her hot breath sends

his body reeling

They have shared ecstasy

"I love you,"
she whispers

as he dresses hastily

Don't Cage Me In

A listless weightless
carefree breeze
Streaming flowing
through the trees
Tickling caressing
twigs and leaves
never stopping
only slowing
to rest inside the dense green mess
discovering secrets none could guess

To drift forever is all it needs
slipping through cracks with gentle ease
(Walls and things only a tease)
Playful loving made to please

Until captured in a small glass jar
where a wild wind cannot go far
It pushes and presses and finally shatters
leaving pieces of glass like tiny daggers

A powerful gentle
tender wind
breaking open
to begin
thrusting chasing
sunlight again
never dying
only resting
to restore within the drive
gaining momentum to strive

Pain

Words cannot describe
that look you've trapped in your eyes
sorrowful tears
from your heart-blood flows
but to none it shows
Until it streams onto your face
leaving a blood-stained trace
for you to wipe and clean
and hope it went unseen

Missing Pictures

I just discovered that some of my pictures are missing from my blog. I recently joined Google+ and edited an album. Guess it was more than an album I was editing. Now the pictures are gone and I'm too lazy to go back through each blog and either try to find the same picture or a new one. So, although it doesn't look pretty, my blog is still here.

Who Am I?

Who am I? The answer depends on who you ask and when you ask them. I am the daughter of Carmen and Patrick. I am the granddaughter of Luis & Lorenza, and Paz & Eva. I am the great granddaughter of David & Damiana, Jesus & Rosalia, Gilberto & Rosario, and Paz & Estolia. I am the baby that was so hairy I looked like a wet rat. I am the chubby toddler with curly dark hair just learning to walk. I am the preschooler who tells the bully he will not be cutting in front of me in line to slip down the slide and he needs to go to the end of the line. I'm the little girl riding in her grandfather's Volkswagon bug, laughing every time the light turns green and her grandfather says, "Go-go Yogi!" I'm the big sister who chases her little sister around the house just so she can pull her ponytails and laughs when her little sister falls down or trips or does anything slightly embarrassing. I am the big sister who cries and howls like a wounded animal when her grandmother separates her from her little sister for a "time out." I am the second grader who waits for the boy she likes to be dismissed so she can chase him around the playground until she catches up enough to playfully kick him in the butt. I am the young girl laying on a blanket in Highway City on a hot summer night next to her little sister, listening to her grandmother and mother speak in Spanish. I'm the little girl that likes to feed Pop Rocks to her dogs. I am the fourth grader who tracks down a classmate who is a boy twice her size to make sure he never teases her little sister again. I am the sixth grader at a fancy private school running after my mom's car while waving my arms in the air after tripping over my new Famolare shoes causing ripped stockings and knees covered in dirt and blood. I am the seventh grader at a new school approached by a boy she has a crush on only to be told in front of the boy's friends that she looks just like Baby Milo from the Planet of the Apes. I am the 8th grader who walks off campus after standing up to a teacher harassing another student. I'm the high school student who can't wait to graduate. I'm the young flirty woman laughing the loudest. I'm the Mexican American woman who defies statistics and earns a Masters Degree. I'm the teacher who walks away from her career because she just can't stomach the system anymore. I'm the poet who has been writing since Kindergarten and self-publishes a book of poetry because she only wants it done her way. What do you think? Who am I to you?