Whatever You Want

"Whatever you want,"

That's what you said to me

But whatever I want

You won't let be

You feign indifference

to mask lonely insecurity

And feed this fire

when you taunt me

"Whatever you want,"

That's just another lie

But whatever I want

I can't let the desire die

I fake a calm

let anger and pain hide

No one hears my screaming

on this roller coaster ride

"Whatever you want,"

That really is the key

To breaking the chains

I've attached from you to me

And whatever I want

becomes something new

I want to be free

from the memory of you.

Love Gone Cold

I used to love the way you are
But I don't anymore
I used to miss you after an hour
But now you're just a chore
You used to make me happy
Now you make me bored
You used to kiss me with magic
Now we never kiss anymore

And I used to be able to see a future
filled with flashes of your face
Now all I see is uncertainty
your face, replaced and erased

Oh I thought I thought I thought
But rather I only dreamed
I didn't think about the way you are
Only the way you seemed

Little Volcano

They used to tell me to
Look out for the quiet ones
I would widen my eyes and nod my
head in agreement
Little actress
that I was
I knew it was true
because I was a quiet one
No, not on the surface.
A hearty laugh
and a quick tongue
covered the truth.
Only I knew better.
Only I knew what
boiled and gurgled and burped
beneath the sweet smile
Look out for the quiet ones
One day they eventually
will explode

A Woman Named Jesus

***Note: when you read this poem, pronounce "Jesus" as "gee-sus" when referring to the christian Jesus and as "heh-soos" when referring to the name of the woman

A Woman Named Jesus

I don't believe in a christian Jesus
But I believed in Jesus
The different sects paint their Jesus in different skin
But I saw the skin of Jesus
I saw her eyes wet from laughter
and from pain
I heard her voice say "No not Jesusa, just Jesus"
over and over again
Jesus was strong
and patient and kind
Jesus was this way
without even trying
And when her heart and her smarts
fueled her toward her dreams
the ones left behind
selfishly clinged
With eyes downcast she told me of her sacrifice
Her life Her future
to spare them from their vice
Jesus my friend
I remember despite the years
and hope that somehow you are smiling
while I wipe away my tears

Visitation

The voice calls to my heart
I hear her in my dreams
The dreams that for some are merely fantasy
or imagination so it seems
incredible to their ears

I do not share the secrets
she tells my listening heart
her words dripping blood and pain
I fear will tear me to jagged parts

Out of fear I closed the door
out of anger she crossed the river
I heard her and I spoke
my voice only a quiver

And then I saw her through the window
a black wet shawl wrapped over her shoulders
Her hair dripping flowing over her face
like sleek brown wet covers

Her beauty beyond any sky
any flower any mountain
the pain in her eyes too deep
my face twisted and bled
my whole self began to weep
Only a glimpse and a moment to meet

Then she fled from my sight
my vision of pain and beauty
vanished into the night

Because Sex Isn't Love

"Do you like that?"
He whispers
quiet and slow
"Yes,"
she sighs
and loses control
Their bodies gracefully arch
and twist and curve and bend
"Does that feel good?"
He says breathlessly
"Yes,"
she sighs again
They groan from deep inside
their voices not their own
Their screams echo inside their minds
then silently they moan
She tenses her thighs around him
feeling his moist soft skin
"Do you like me inside of you?"
"Oh Yes,"
her hot breath sends

his body reeling

They have shared ecstasy

"I love you,"
she whispers

as he dresses hastily

Don't Cage Me In

A listless weightless
carefree breeze
Streaming flowing
through the trees
Tickling caressing
twigs and leaves
never stopping
only slowing
to rest inside the dense green mess
discovering secrets none could guess

To drift forever is all it needs
slipping through cracks with gentle ease
(Walls and things only a tease)
Playful loving made to please

Until captured in a small glass jar
where a wild wind cannot go far
It pushes and presses and finally shatters
leaving pieces of glass like tiny daggers

A powerful gentle
tender wind
breaking open
to begin
thrusting chasing
sunlight again
never dying
only resting
to restore within the drive
gaining momentum to strive