Time Has Wings

I can't believe six months have flown by since I last wrote! Almost two months ago I celebrated my wedding to the love of my life. It still makes me smile when I refer to him as "my husband." I like to look at him when he doesn't know I'm watching and savor the thrilling thought that this amazing person is the man I've chosen to spend my life with - and that he chose me too.

A couple of days ago my niece turned 12 years old. I've seen cousins grow up before my eyes - which is baffling. But it's different to watch my little sister's baby grow up. Just when I've finally accepted the fact that my little sister is all grown up...this happens. The baby face has disappeared and now I look into the eyes of an emerging woman. Absolutely terrifying and exciting!

I've reconnected with one of my favorite friends on, yes, Facebook. The last time I saw her and her baby, the baby was a cooing adorable little bundle. Now he is a beautiful little boy.

It's funny to think about life before Facebook. Time still had the tendency to fly for me. It makes sense that someone would think that since they hadn't heard from me, I must not care anymore. I ended up losing touch with some of the people I loved the most. Now, a quick comment on Facebook or a thumbs-up/like is my way of saying, "I'm still here for you. I think about you and wonder how you are doing. I miss you. I love you."

Time has wings but my memory has the ability to manipulate time. I can travel to the past and relive whatever I want. I can remember my first date with my husband, the first time I held my newborn neice and experienced an indescribable love, and the first moment I realized when I had made a new friend.

A Poetic Life

Has it really been months since the last time I posted anything? Acutally, I post plenty of blogs for work, but I can't believe I haven't posted anything here since January. The good news is that work is great. The company is doing awesome and I am SO busy. The bad news is that it's been a few months since I've written any poetry. My heart and soul are screaming for a good release. Today I cleaned my house and cranked up an old Sheryl Crow CD. I was so close to queing up an old Patti Griffin CD but ran out of time before dinner. These are two artists who are poetic, honest, and are second only to my absolute favorite artist - Melissa Etheridge.

No matter what I do for a living, I will always be a poet. I don't know how to define what being a poet is, I just know that ever since I was 5 years old and wrote my first poem, I knew there was something different about me. Something different about the way I perceive things. Something different about the way I react to things. Something different about the way I cope, celebrate, and live.

The other day I pointed out to someone that it looked like one cloud was trying to catch up with another. That person said they'd never looked at the clouds long enough to realize anything like that.

Today I watched a father and son pull into a gas station. The boy looked around 8 years old. The father went into the gas station to pay while the boy eagerly hopped out of the car and started cleaning the front windshield with the squeegie. The father returned and helped the boy with a couple of hard-to-reach spots. It's the simple moments that pass by unnoticed or are taken for granted that I just happen to witness from the corner of my eye. A moment that reveals intention and emotion. A moment that inspires me to write a poem...

To Breed or not to Breed ...

Exactly a year ago today, a white and black stray cat became a part of our family. We named her Sugar. She is the smartest, funniest, best cat I have ever owned. I could bore you with a list of all her unique, talented ways like a parent talking about their child. At 40, I often think Sugar is as close as I will get to having a child.

So, how did I get here? Well, I've never been married and I've never had a pregnancy "oops." Having children was never on my list of "Must Do's." I've been waiting for that moment of yearning to have a child to happen like everyone told me it would. I got close to feeling it last year. I really let it sink into my bones for at least a few weeks. It was all I thought about along with stressing out over how to plan a wedding as soon as possible so we could get started on creating a pregnancy. I only accomplished making both of us crazy.

I talked to close friends and family about what I was thinking and their insight and support was what I needed.

If we decide to have a child, I know we'll make wonderful parents. If we decide not to have a child, I'm going to get a puppy.